Another Breakthrough at Slippery Slopes Inc.- A Government Subsidized Corporation

Scientist: EUREKA! WE'VE DONE IT!

Administrator: What have you come up with?

Scientist: We've developed a new strain of carrot, possessing a mind AND feelings!

Administrator: Incredible, Jenkins! Do you know what this means? Why, soon we'll have a whole new workforce, one that will be so grateful for their new existential status that they'll probably be willing to work for less than minimum wage.

Scientist: Well, sir, there might be a slight problem in that regard. You see, even though they can think and feel, they can't exacty, erm, move around much. Some HAVE managed to roll back and forth an inch or so on a smooth plate...erm...I mean, surface; but by and large they just sort of lie there and contemplate their rather limited condition.

Administrator: And how do you know this, Jenkins?

Scientist: They're wired in to several sophisticated monitoring devices, sir, and we've become very proficient in retrieving and interpreting their mind states, including their various thoughts, moods, ideas, beliefs, hopes, aspirations...that sort of thing. And then...erm...there's the other thing.

Administrator: What's that, Jenkins?

Scientist: Well, erm, several team members, including myself, have been having somewhat disturbing dreams of late, increasing in frequency as the project neared completion.

Administrator: What sorts of dreams, Jenkins?

Scientist: Well, mostly they're dreams filled with carrots screaming, crying and begging to die.

Administrator: Hmm, that's not good, not good at all! Tell you what, Jenkins. I think you and your team have earned R and R time. What say we send the lot of you off to the Poconos. A little skiing will do you all a world of good, I'd say. As for the project, I think we've reached the point that we can present our results to the oversight committee for the ol' rubber stamp, and start thinking about mass production.

Scientist: Well, sir, I wanted to talk with you about that. I'm not so sure I can in good conscience stand behind this project any longer. I mean, it seems a little like we're playing God here, and to what end?

Administrator: Jesus Christ, Jenkins! Just what the hell are you saying?

Scientist: I'm saying, sir, that for basic morality's sake we should put these poor carrots out of their misery, and shut down the project.

Administrator, For God's sake, son, get a hold on yourself. You're talking murder here! What gives you the right?

Scientist: But, sir, these carrots are living miserable existences! Sure, some of the have managed to create rather complicated belief systems involving afterlives with rewards and punishments, but these are simply the reactions of desperate minds reaching out for ANYTHING that might ward off the terror of their existential plight. Plus, erm, there's the other thing.

Administrator: And what's that?

Scientist: It seems that one of the team members fell asleep during her break in the lab, and left the TV on. Martha Stewart was on, and she was making...carrot rosettes. They know what they're in for, sir.

Administrator: Now, now, Jenkins. You're overreacting. We'll simply teach the carrots about how their deaths contribute to the overall welfare of life in general; you know, all that circle of life crap. And you know, that afterlife ideation stuff should play right into our hands. I'm thinking something along the lines of 'Jesus loves the little carrots, all the little carrots of the world. Singled out or in a bunch, He just loves them when they crunch. Jesus loves the little carrots of the world.' Whaddya think?

Scientist: I think I'm going to be sick...sir.

Administrator: Have a carrot, that'll cure what ails you!

Scientist: Well, even though it seems you're determined to keep these carrots alive against their will, won't you at least think about abandoning the project for the sake of future carrots.

Administrator: Jenkins, how can a smart guy like yourself commit such an egregious logical fallacy? Those 'future' carrots you're talking about don't exist yet, so how can you possibly talk as if we're somehow morally culpable for the horrors they might face in some imaginary tomorrow? Let tomorrow take care of itself, is what I say. And until then, let the beta carotene flow!

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20120123/D9SEM1681.html

First Post 2012. That's Right, Isn't it?

Banality and madness. Shaken, not stirred. If you nurse it, you're less likely to wind up throwing up in some dark corner, praying that no one walks in on you.

Movie recommendation: Harry and Tonto (Chip, I have you in mind here)
Book recommendation: The Gap Series by Stephen R. Donaldson
Recreation recommendation: Ride your bike. Don't wear a helmet.

I hope to be contributing to this blog again in the very near future. Thanks to all those who've kept things lively in my absence, lions and lambs alike, and a hearty welcome to those inclined to disagree, as well (at least, to those who sincerely have something to say). Take care, and keep speaking your minds.

In Memoriam: Pretzel, beloved cockatiel for 27 years. I miss your song every day. Rest well.

And now, a poem that has 'bird' in the title:


Old Birds

‘I am for you’, she said,
but I didn’t believe her.
I told her I loved her,
making plans to deceive her.
I knew in my heart
that I’d finally leave her...

but we shared the last breath of the world through a straw
while the shroud of the sky covered all that we saw
and we knew we were through, but we wept tears of awe
as the shattering sound filled our ears.

Awake in a manger
that was burned long ago,
‘midst embers of memories
floating up from below,
like sparks of cognition
kindling flare-ups of woe...

so we conjured a fancy of cool evening breezes
blowing fair from the West as it purged our diseases
and we laughed at the languor and kissed through the wheezes
of geezers who’ve outlived their fears.

Antinatalism Man

So, I absolutely HATE the new blogger posting format...so far, anyway. I can't figure out how to embed my new video, so I'll have to ask anyone who's interested to visit my YouTube channel to see my new video comic strip, Antinatalism Man. It's just a new angle, maybe break me out of my latest funk. Hope everyone's relatively safe and sound, and doing well. Take care...jim.

Anthem

Our first antinatalism anthem! Thanks to YouTuber Arjozof.

Laughter is a Muscle Spasm

The world is replete with conflicting energies, donning and discarding shapes and forms and hurling its lightning bolts at the sometimes not so funhouse mirror of its own distorted reflections. Life takes arms against life, each thrust a self-inflicted wound torn from the flesh, red ink entered in the infinite ledger of peccadilloes and atrocities, accounted for but never enough to sooth the hunger pangs of battle lines drawn in arm-linked rows of anarchist ostriches queuing up for their disability checks at the mercenary’s window. Endless bodies shot out of cannons and dropping from the sky are held personally responsible for gravity’s ‘thud’ as they land on broken legs and are ordered to march by pussies with loud coughs bearing the best of intentions. One, two, buckle my shoe. Three, four, go fight my war. Five, six, powder your dicks. Seven, eight, force your twisted spines straight. Nine, ten, wash, rinse, and start over again. Babies falling, caterwauling, stuck in mud but never stalling. Growing tits and naughty parts, stacked like chips with poker hearts they eat the risks as others play with proxy souls who are not they, and when the fiendish game is done, they count their losses as good fun...

and laugh
at brokenness
at failed aspirations
at chins worn flat on the global grinding wheel

When screams become music
And tears taste like liquor
And makeup become the standard of beauty
And the ironies of Pagliacchi are forever lost on the audience

Isn’t it time to end the play?

Why is Suicide Wrong?

I'm not an advocate for suicide- other than species suicide perhaps, although I prefer to think of antinatalism as a proactive alternative to the need for suicide- but this morning's visit to The View From Hell has prompted me to do some Googling to find out why people believe that suicide is wrong. In my searching, I came across this tidy little list:

1.Suicide is FOREVER. You do not get to wake up. You do not get a second chance. You will not be able to say, "Wait, I want to stay." There is no turning back.

2.Think about the situation in grisly fact. Someone will have to find your body, and most likely it will be someone who loves and cares for you. They will bear this in their memory for the rest of their lives.

3.If you kill yourself at someone else’s hand, such as laying in front of a car or train or forcing a police officer to kill you, know that these people will bear the brunt of the emotional turmoil and will always wish that it could have been different.

4.There may be people standing on the sidelines, knowing that you are in pain and wishing that they could help you. These people will suffer forever in guilt, wondering if there was more they could have done or said to change your mind. They will blame themselves.

5.The repercussions go far beyond this. Friends or family members may grow so despondent that they, in turn, take their own lives.

6.Most newspapers will not even mention your name after death by suicide.

Here are my brief response:

1.Death is FOREVER. Everybody dies. There is no turning back, once you've been born.

2.Which speaks to the need of integrating suicide optionality into the cultural psyche in such a way that it becomes a viable, acceptable alternative. Irrational stigma is a HUGE factor here, and a little softening of societal denialism could work wonders in taking the edge off.

3.Ah, the old guilt trip rears its ugly head yet again. Remember, life was the burden foisted on the unfortunate chappy for the benefit of persons other than himself. Contrariwise, suicide is a gift he gives himself.

4.More guilting. On the other hand, an enlightened and sympathetic person might think "Wow, she's finally released from her pain. Though it hurts me to lose her, she is finally at peace. And, after all, I'm headed for the same destination in short order, one way or the other. God bless her!"

5.Yeesh! Guilt, upon guilt, upon guilt! I mean, really- at some point, you just have to say fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, don't you?

6.Is this a comment on social denialism reflected in the press, or are they merely pointing out that shortly after your death you're forgotten by almost everybody? If the former, then I'd say this simply reflects society's general immaturity when it comes to looking reality square in the face. If the latter, well...DUH! We are the future's dirt.

http://www.suite101.com/content/why-is-suicide-wrong-a78231

Parenthood- Reel Life vs. Real Life

The film 'Parenthood', a Steve Martin vehicle from 1989, has always seemed a case study for me about how people contrive to salvage overall positive value from negative situations. In this case (as in almost all cases when we're talking about the movies), the film maker sets up several conflictive scenarios within the framework of a fictional extended family. One brother feels pressured by having to maintain a job and lifestyle he loathes to support his children, with another on the way. At one point, he even quits his job, which threatens to bring down the whole house of cards. Another is on the verge of divorce because he and his spouse have different visions of how they should raise their offspring. Still a third brother is a flake on the run from creditors who ultimately runs off, abandoning his son to parents who basically hate each other. The fourth sibling, a sister, is raising a rebellious teenage daughter alone, and is having a very hard time of it.

Of course, since the film is ultimately nothing more than another blatant exercise in facile life affirmation, all conflicts are resolved in the last five minutes, and the film fades out with- ugh, this makes me cringe- more babies. Fade to black.

There's one particular scene near the end of the film, when everything seems like it's going to hell, that's particularly illustrative of the simplistic philosophical 'out' that almost everybody seems to crave in their disparate, desperate attempts to make real life fit their optimistic fantasies. It comes in the form of a little speech uttered by the aged matriarch of the family, and goes a little something like this...



Of course, the difference between a story about a roller coaster and real life is the difference between a 60 second up-and-down ride purposefully designed to imitate danger within the confines of numerous fail-safe mechanisms, and real life, where all bets are off and where too, too often 'downs' are just plain 'downs'.

For a more realistic take on things, let's posit a roller coaster built by an imbecile who never really had entertainment in mind, with rusty tracks and safety bars, where the wheels have the nasty habit of falling off unexpectedly, and a sizable portion of the riders die from heart attacks and brain aneurysms. A ride that people don't actually choose to go on, but rather find themselves inexplicably strapped into after waking from their naps, who soon realize that, even if they survive the shoddy manufacturing defects for a time, they're eventually going to crash headfirst into that brick wall that some idiot built at the end of the track. A thrill o' minute, indeed! Then of course, there's this...



Ah, the best laid tracks of mice and men, eh? I wonder, do you suppose there are some who might think twice before allowing their children on dangerous rides after this? And before you go getting cocky about merry-go-rounds, you might want to check this out

UPDATE: Wow, I just caught the last line on the tombstone there: 'One Day We Will Understand'. Yeah. Sure we will.