Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Tin Foil Man

Sung to the tune Do It Again by Steely Dan

In the mornin' you go gunnin'
for the gal who stole your semen
And you shove til she is done in
'cause you hates them pregnant women
All the evilists start singin'
as they worship at your feet.
Then they ask you how you're hangin'
and you start to beat your meat

And they yell "Back, Jack, do it again!"
Girls tumbling 'round and down
"You go back, Jack, and do it again!"

When you know she's no high climber
then you need another plan.
So you sneak up from behind her
and you hit her with a pan
Then you act a little naughty
with her, now that she's compliant
Later when they find the body
You come at them all defiant

And you scream "Back, Jack, I'll do it again!
Girls tumbling 'round and down
I'll go back, Jack, and do it again!"

Now you swear and kick and tell us
That you're really a good guy
It's a tale you've tried to sell us
But it's one just blind men buy
All the rest of us can see you
for the charlatan you are
It's what happens when an ego
Tries too hard to be a star, yeah

But you'll go back, Jack, and do it again
Girls tumbling 'round and down
You'll go back, Jack, and do it again


Saturday, November 14, 2020

They Wronged You, Julie Newmar. Thanks for Everything!

If you've got Hulu, get yer ass over there and watch the best Marvel movie of all time! That's right, I'm talking Blade with Wesley Snipes. What a wonderful non-Disneyish experience! And fuck the critics with their snotty biases against the sci-fi/fantasy genre. I'm telling you, this flick is a gem, a blood-letting gorefest inside an homage to kung fu movies inside an African American tour-de-force with absolutely ZERO pandering (yeah, I'm looking at you, Black Panther) inside what I believe to be the best cinematic iteration of a comic book character ever rendered. Snipes was the king back then; too bad he did an Inmendham-style disappearing up his own ass trick and ruined his own career a couple of sequels later. Ah well, at least he got some mileage out of his gig, unlike the aforementioned evilist sado-daddy shower curtain prophet. UPDATE: OMG! Just reading the credits and realized Traci Lords is in this movie! Cherry on top!!!