Umadum

Sung to the tune of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy

He's an isolated dude from out New Jersey way.
He'd tried to make a go of it but couldn't play.
He was the low man on the poll,
And eventually wound up on the government dole.
He's in his basement now. He has a lot to say.
He's the boogie woogie beta boy who won't go away.

For almost all his life he's lived off Uncle Sam.
He likes to shake his dick in front of his web cam
And tell his minion hangers-on
That he's bigger than big, and even longer than long.
He knows they'll suck it up, each and every day.
He's the daddy-dom at the efil prom and won't go away.

And such, and such, and suchdiddlyuchnot-much!
He blows it 8 times a week, but we've all heard it.
He can't take a piss unless his audience is all in there with him.
And then he shakes it off (on upraised faces) as they scrape and pray.
He's the blowhard king of the gladiator ring who won't go away

He's the efil spoutin' screamin' shoutin' wunderkind,
Who learned to spell 'life' backwards son now we're all in (apparently).
And when he speaks on what he don't know he really lowers the bar.
He's the YouTube boy from Hoi Polloi who thinks he's a star.

He blinds the kids with science almost every night.
He don't believe in protons or the speed of light.
And while I don't like to seem crass
His erudition and such drops mostly straight out his ass.
He is his biggest fan. He's come to save the day.
He's the Efilus for the rest of us, and won't go awaaaaayyy... *jazz hands*